Dear Baby Bear,

The night we brought you home from the hospital was probably the most stressful day of my life. After your birth, you stayed in “sleep recovery mode” for about three days straight, making it pretty difficult to feed you. That day we brought you home, the feeding was not much better, and after hours of trying to get you to eat, I finally pumped and fed you through a syringe. You were starving at this point and gulped down that milk faster than I could push it out of the syringe. This resulted in a full stomach too fast, and consequently much throwing up. Your dad and I planned to put you in the nursery right away, but with the puking situation, we figured it was best to keep you in our room for a few nights. Every peep you made had us flying out of bed and rushing to your side, praying that you were still breathing.

The next few nights as we kept you in our room, we continued to stress over every little noise. Every day as the clock hit five or six pm, a feeling of dread would come over me as I knew we were heading into night time. My mom has always said “everything is worse at night,” and no statement could have been more true. Night times were scary. But as we moved in to week two, things got a little less scary. And by week three, even though you had a cold that resulted in congestion and trouble breathing, things were much less scary and I finally felt like I could actually do this. I could be a mom and take care of you.

Now that you’re a month old, it’s so fun to look back and see the changes that have already happened in just four short weeks! For one, you’ve started filling out and now are nearly ten pounds (according to my scale at home) and 22 inches! Your cheeks are getting chubbier by the day and are the most delicious things I’ve ever seen…I just want to kiss and chomp them all day long. You’re starting to eat a little less frequently, which is really nice for me, starting to hold your head up really well, and you’re smiling all the time — my favorite thing in the whole world.

You’re the best natured baby in the world, only crying when you’re hungry, and fussing when you’re tired. Oh, and screaming when we suck the boogers out of your nose (which, unfortunately happens ALL the time these days). I can’t wait to see you grow up and turn into a little man. Even though you’ve only been here for one month, it feels like forever and I hardly know how we lived without you.

Happy One Month, Buddy Bear.

Love, Mom

….til my baby’s due date!