skirt: target (shop), top: anthropologie (gift from mom), black cardigan: target (altered), nude heels: kohls, pearl bracelets: charlotte russe, initials necklace: gift from Philip
Yesterday, after church, I jumped on facebook and while scrolling through my news feed, came across a friend’s status. She announced that her children’s pediatrician had passed away on Saturday, and then gave his name and the name of his office. I did a double take and realized that was Peanut’s pediatrician. Just like that, gone. A man that I didn’t know really well, but one that I had met with multiple times, who had given me advice and direction for Peanut, and who took such great care of our little boy from the time Peanut was only a few days old. It sent me into a temporary state of shock, and then all day I thought of him, his wife, and his five young children.
As I thought about this doctor for the rest of the day, it brought to mind a personal loss that we experienced as a family last fall — the loss of my second pregnancy. I got pregnant toward the end of the summer, and after ten weeks, I began bleeding and after an emergency ultrasound, it was confirmed that the baby had stopped growing at seven weeks. Just like that, gone. A baby that we had prayed and hoped for, that we anxiously anticipated the arrival of, was gone. I know that so many women experience miscarriages, but still it was heartbreaking, and devastating, and it made me realize how fragile life really is.
But through all of this it’s made me realized and appreciate how blessed I am to be living an amazing life, to have an unbelievably supportive and loving husband, and to have Peanut, who is my pride and joy and is absolutely brimming with life. It’s so easy to get caught up in daily life that sometimes we forget to really live. To enjoy and appreciate the life we do have. 
So today I’m living my life to the fullest, because I’m grateful for life. Hope you are too.


  1. Annie says:

    Such a sweet post Merrick – sorry to hear about both losses.

    Loving that blouse & blue skirt – perfect for Spring πŸ™‚

    The Other Side of Gray

  2. Saskia says:

    I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

    And as what seems like a very irreverent non-sequitor, I love your outfit, the skirt had me wishing we had Targets here.

  3. Jenni says:

    Life is so precious…its times like these when you lose someone that it reminds you the most. So sorry to hear about your losses. I say make every day count….thanks for the reminder! πŸ™‚

  4. Megan says:

    I'm so sorry to hear about your losses πŸ™ It's definitely important to remember that each day is special and important and we can't take anything for granted.

    On a brighter note, I really love the color of that pencil skirt. You look lovely πŸ™‚

  5. Lessa says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. A loss of a baby at any age (no matter how common) is VERY hard.

  6. love the skirt! looks amazing on you!


    Fashion Fractions

  7. Erica says:

    I'm sorry for both of your losses. The Gospel is such a comfort during times like this.

    Also, I agree that we forget to live sometimes. I'm terrible about pushing things off, saying I'll do that when I have the time. I just need to make the time NOW.

  8. Janssen says:

    What a sweet post. I love you, Merrick.

  9. Sorry to hear about your losses, Merrick. Life is too short and this is another reminder to live it to the fullest.

    I love the print on your blouse and your initials necklace is so cute!

    The Tiny Heart

  10. Always a good reminder to live your life to the fullest, thanks! Thanks for sharing something so personal, I'm sorry for both losses.

  11. Rachel says:

    Sorry for both of your losses. This was a beautiful post.

  12. So sorry for your family. The loss of a pregnancy, no matter how far along, can be so devastating. πŸ™

    Thank you for the reminder to appreciate all that we have been blest with!

  13. Thanks for your post. I feel like no one really talks about miscarriage, so I'm glad you mentioned it. I had one recently as well and it really is heartbreaking.

  14. preethi says:

    Oh Merrick, I'm so sorry – on both counts. Thanks for the sweet reminder.

  15. So sorry to hear of your losses, Merrick. I am, however, so thankful when loss can give people faith, appreciation and a sense of life. What a very sweet post. All the best to you and your family (and the doctor's family).

  16. That is so sad about your pediatrician. Was he young? Wow.

    Also, it's so courageous of you to talk about your miscarriage. You're inspiring me to try and live life more fully!

  17. Sorry to hear all of that, Merrick. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably with us, and I appreciate hearing your perspective of being grateful and not taking life for granted.

  18. emandtrev says:

    I am so sorry to hear about both losses. You are beautiful, inside and out, and that definitely comes through in all your posts, but especially today. Virtual hugs…

  19. So sorry to hear about your loss, and you are totally right about living life to the fullest πŸ™‚

    I absolutely love your blue skirt, that bright blue is one of my absolutely favorite colors! πŸ™‚

  20. Janelle says:

    Thanks for sharing such a sweet post with us. So sorry for you!

  21. Bec says:

    We just had the same Merrick, just two weeks ago. I was ten weeks pregnant and we discovered at a chance ultrasound at our first ob appointment that the baby's heart had stopped. We'd seen it on a previous ultrasound and therefore announced the pregnancy. It was devastating. Will be praying for you.

  22. Mallory says:

    I love the last line your wrote there: That you are living life to the fullest. I hope that everybody can start living their lives to the fullest. You never know what is going to happen and you just need to love life and let God! Way to be positive!

    p.s. I love your outfit πŸ™‚

    Come say hi @

  23. Unknown says:

    Oh Merrick, I just love you. Sorry about the doctor, an unexpected death is devastating even when you barely know/knew that person {unborn fetuses included!}. But I must say, you absolutely radiate life just like peanut does, so I think you already ARE living life fully. Even so, I'm up for new adventures with you if you want to live it even more! πŸ™‚

  24. Kayla says:

    um, p.s., above comment was me, i don't know why it says "unknown.."

  25. Sorry about your loss Merrick, it sure makes you grateful for healthy pregnancies doesnt it? Gorgreous outfit as always πŸ™‚

  26. Brit says:

    Miscarriage has got to be so hard. It is a strong thing to open up about it like this. Love you dearly! You are a liver.

  27. Kelly says:

    sorry for your loss πŸ™ but you're right, I feel like we need to take that step back from life more often and appreciate what we have and be grateful for the people we have been blessed with.

  28. Aubrey says:

    Merrick- I'm so sorry to hear about all of that. My heart really does go out to you and your family. Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for each day. I am looking forward to spending some time- hours probably- browsing through your blog! Funny story: We met at the blogger meet-up at the Riverwoods mall and I've been meaning to find your blog but couldn't remember what it was called. Anyways- I was browsing Pinterest and saw your skinny jeans re-fashion and I recognized you- only to look through my style board and remembered that ages ago I pinned your polo shirt refashion. Long story– but I'm just glad that I finally made the connection πŸ™‚

  29. You're so great πŸ˜‰ wish we still lived close!

  30. Merrick, I'm so sorry to read about this. I've had two miscarriages, and they are completely devastating. Hope that you all have had some time and space to heal together since the fall.

  31. Meghan says:

    I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for the reminder to cherish our lives and the days we have with our little ones.

  32. you're incredible! Love you.

  33. Merrick-
    I wasn't going to post anything because you already have a bajillion sweet comments but just wanted to let you know that I'm over here having lots of sympathy for you and your miscarriage last year. I have been waiting to hear news of a pregnancy from you since last we went to lunch you said you were going to start trying. I'm glad you were able to share what happened on here. Hugs!

  34. not sure how i missed this post yesterday, but it broke my heart when i read it today. i am so so sorry that you had to go through that, merrick! i've never had a miscarriage, but i can just imagine how awful it would be. you are such an inspiration, and such a good example of staying positive and grateful. you are my idol! miss you girl πŸ™‚

  35. Emily Kate says:

    This was such a lovely post, Merrick. And I am so, so sorry about your loss. I can only imagine how rough it was for you all. But I admire you for sharing your story and coming away from a sorrowful situation with your sunny disposition intact. That's why you're such a joy to be around!

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